As I referred to in my last post our basement flooded in the Great Peoria Flood of 2013. I am not sure if anyone is calling this that yet, but I am. The river is not back in its banks yet so, I guess it is still the Great Peoria Flood of 2013, only at a less intense moment.
Since this great flood there has been a metaphorical flood in my life.
My daughter is now seeing a chiropractor three times a week and seeing two gastroenterologists in hope of clearing up her issues. She was also hospitalized for the last two days of April. D is a very healthy girl in general, she just has some bathroom issues. Issues that no one (besides doctors) wants to hear about or talk about but they rule all parts of her and my day.
D as a normal 5 year old that is taking swim lessons on Tuesdays and Thursdays and running in the Illinois Valley Striders kids series on Mondays. I definitely feel like a mini-van (or sport van) mom.
We went to kindergarten round-up. We had a garage sale. We had a baby shower. We had three family birthdays. We celebrated Mother's day.
We are flooded with places to be and things to do. Oh and the baby things to do and buy.
But I wouldn't want to change it. Yes, I wish I had more hours in the day (or one more weekend day), but the hours I have are full and good. I want D to learn to swim and be active. I want her to be healthy. I want her to remember a fun childhood with fun parents. In the past few weeks, I have realized more than ever before that I am living as a mother. I am always making my choices to best benefit my daughter.
I probably should have realized this in the past 5 years, but I have tried been independent. I didn't want people to just see me as a mom, I wanted to keep my identity. But now, when D is 5, and I am 10 weeks away from giving her a brother, I realize that I cannot be separated from her. I even enjoy being known as "D's mom". Every waking moment is dedicated to her (I go to bed almost right after her- I'm a pregnant lady). And I am so aware that things will change this summer.
As I watch D, she is me. Her mannerisms, her body shape, her temper. It is all me. (Probably why we don't get along so well.) She learned to be herself from me. Oh and a little bit of my husband too. I didn't show her the Jean Claude Van Damme movie that has her doing karate/kickboxing all over the place. That's all him. Oh and she has this mischievousness that she also gets from her father (see kickboxing).
I thought as she got older, she wouldn't need me as much or that it would get easier and that is false. When she was an infant she just needed me for my milk and love. Now she needs me for learning how to be a person in society, which is much harder than breastfeeding, pumping at work 3-4 times a day for a year and making our own baby food. She needs me to reassure her that being weird is good, but not too weird. She needs me to guide her though learning right from wrong, learning our culture with its signs, symbols, and myths. I have to remind her "Don't forget to be awesome."(Imaginary Awesome Points for naming the author of this quote.) I have to answer a million "why" questions a day and give full scientific answers before she is satisfied (yes, I did explain the whole water cycle to her because she wouldn't take it is raining because there are rain clouds as an answer). This week she has been asking what is real and has found out that monsters, fairies, and magic are not. She also learned that Princess Jasmine did not live in the United States and lived a long time ago (we will cover that she is not real another day.) This is all so much harder than feeding and changing diapers, even harder than the 2 am feedings.
So my life is happening and I am going to try not to make other plans, but I do have some things on the needles and a finished project to show off.
Since this great flood there has been a metaphorical flood in my life.
My daughter is now seeing a chiropractor three times a week and seeing two gastroenterologists in hope of clearing up her issues. She was also hospitalized for the last two days of April. D is a very healthy girl in general, she just has some bathroom issues. Issues that no one (besides doctors) wants to hear about or talk about but they rule all parts of her and my day.
D as a normal 5 year old that is taking swim lessons on Tuesdays and Thursdays and running in the Illinois Valley Striders kids series on Mondays. I definitely feel like a mini-van (or sport van) mom.
We went to kindergarten round-up. We had a garage sale. We had a baby shower. We had three family birthdays. We celebrated Mother's day.
We are flooded with places to be and things to do. Oh and the baby things to do and buy.
But I wouldn't want to change it. Yes, I wish I had more hours in the day (or one more weekend day), but the hours I have are full and good. I want D to learn to swim and be active. I want her to be healthy. I want her to remember a fun childhood with fun parents. In the past few weeks, I have realized more than ever before that I am living as a mother. I am always making my choices to best benefit my daughter.
I probably should have realized this in the past 5 years, but I have tried been independent. I didn't want people to just see me as a mom, I wanted to keep my identity. But now, when D is 5, and I am 10 weeks away from giving her a brother, I realize that I cannot be separated from her. I even enjoy being known as "D's mom". Every waking moment is dedicated to her (I go to bed almost right after her- I'm a pregnant lady). And I am so aware that things will change this summer.
As I watch D, she is me. Her mannerisms, her body shape, her temper. It is all me. (Probably why we don't get along so well.) She learned to be herself from me. Oh and a little bit of my husband too. I didn't show her the Jean Claude Van Damme movie that has her doing karate/kickboxing all over the place. That's all him. Oh and she has this mischievousness that she also gets from her father (see kickboxing).
I thought as she got older, she wouldn't need me as much or that it would get easier and that is false. When she was an infant she just needed me for my milk and love. Now she needs me for learning how to be a person in society, which is much harder than breastfeeding, pumping at work 3-4 times a day for a year and making our own baby food. She needs me to reassure her that being weird is good, but not too weird. She needs me to guide her though learning right from wrong, learning our culture with its signs, symbols, and myths. I have to remind her "Don't forget to be awesome."(Imaginary Awesome Points for naming the author of this quote.) I have to answer a million "why" questions a day and give full scientific answers before she is satisfied (yes, I did explain the whole water cycle to her because she wouldn't take it is raining because there are rain clouds as an answer). This week she has been asking what is real and has found out that monsters, fairies, and magic are not. She also learned that Princess Jasmine did not live in the United States and lived a long time ago (we will cover that she is not real another day.) This is all so much harder than feeding and changing diapers, even harder than the 2 am feedings.
So my life is happening and I am going to try not to make other plans, but I do have some things on the needles and a finished project to show off.
Ours flooded too. We haven't had water in our basement for more than 10 years, it was just gushin up from the floor drain. I love a good rainstorm, but not when it comes up from the drain!
ReplyDeleteHope your life gets back to normal.
I'm not sure what normal will be. As soon as life gets back to the old normal, we will have to get used to a new normal. I guess that is what is exciting about life.
DeleteSorry you got water in your basement as well. it is such a pain. I love rain too, but it has me a bit uneasy this year.